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familiar haunts

by collector

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1.
breath 01:54
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there's something wrong in the way you hold your breath how long can this go on your love always drowning in my head? i feel you fading out until there's nothing left we're under dark skies now i'm hanging on to everything you said it gets colder i am fragile skin i am my every fear actualized i feel older but i know nothing about the things i see through lowered eyes
2.
disconnect 02:38
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in my dreams i'm melting through hardwood floors off-white rooms and all i see don't mean that much to me ready to fall but not so soon i say it's fine i say it happens all the time i want to disconnect i want to cut it off i know it's hard to think when you're not sleeping at all and i'm wide awake did i say enough? is there anything to do when i know it's all my fault? every day turns out the same when you're to afraid to leave your bed i stayed inside i had too much to hide distracted by the noise inside my head you said "it's fine" you said "it happened all the time" i want to disconnect i want to cut it off i know it's hard to think when you're not sleeping at all and i'm wide awake did i say enough? is there anything to do when i know it's all my fault?
3.
familiar haunts 02:22
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everything's a forest fire and everything is empty air everyone is fading out and soon there'll be nothing there i sat and thought about what went wrong while my roots began to show i am crooked lines i am familiar haunts and i think it's time to go i passed you by on my way out i couldn't help but watch the ground and everything felt worse than nothing to me everywhere's a crowded room and everyone is in the air "if there's nothing to do about it why should i even care?" i can't stay here and i can't go home i've been falling in my sleep i am wide awake i am narrow eyes i'm afraid of sinking too deep i float through the rooms that we were in i climb the walls up and down again and everything felt worse than nothing to me and now nowhere is where i want to be just let me close my eyes so i can fall asleep
4.
arms bent back 02:28
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this is the last time i reach out with my arms bent back and i wanted to avoid the repercussions of your heart attack i got the feeling everything i say doesn't make sense your silver song still sung inside my head tonight, in a certain light your silhouette begins to say my name despite no matter how it died i always wanted things to stay the same and there isn't much to do but pretend that you needed me i tried so hard to believe now i'm filling in the space in between and i wait here every day hoping for the will to change the hours blend, it's all the same and we're underground there's nothing for me anywhere and if there is i don't care i want to go where there's nothing there and i won't make a sound
5.
rock and gold 02:53
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and it's been a while since i've been outside snowflake static when i close my eyes if there's really something out there why can't i get it right? something's happening across the street the concrete's melting underneath my feet there's a crack in the back of my mind i let it take control of me saying sorry for the things i said nothing works out when you're in your head i never want to be in movies unless i wind up dead there's a light left on in the back room turn it off when you're in a bad mood you know that i will always love you what else am i supposed to do? and i hide in a world of my own there's something wrong if i'm not alone bend back speak in tongues exhale smoke from my lungs habits shouting out in black and white solving puzzles late into the night hanging onto every feeling it's not enough to just be getting by all my friends are made of rock and gold first footsteps in the falling snow and i will never forget you no matter where we go eyes closed tripping in the dark "if i'd known it would be this hard..." i won't get too far it shows this is just the start...
6.
safe 02:59
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i want to be what you want me to be it's cuz i'm scared i believe and that's not fair to you and now i'm walking backwards over and after lead me back home back to you i'm coming undone from brown eyes in the sun every breath in my lungs has me closer to something i don't know who i am or how did i get here i still need to learn to be alone oh my love you're slipping away oh my love can i stay to watch you fade? i want to see what you want me to see and i want to believe that there's good in everything but now i don't know i'm depressed or i'm stoned or somewhere in between there's me oh my love you're slipping away oh my love can i stay to watch you fade? oh my love i long to hear you say "oh my love i'll keep your heart safe"
7.
twice as tall 04:10
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all around the cycle spins standing out blending in in moments, passing slowly dying while i rot away inside my mind do i feel like a real person today? lately i've been thinking about changing my name.. how many tries do you think it takes? to figure out when you're making a mistake? don't lump me in i'm not him i've got a lot to say for it sitting out i feel it now it's coming down just wait for it and now i'm nothing at all i felt my spirit dissolve i'll build it up twice as tall how to you make the black clouds go away? how do i stop myself from hiding my face? readjust myself accordingly stand up straight and stitch the seams but i feel so broken eyes wide waiting for the fall and now i'm nothing at all i felt my spirit dissolve i'll build it up twice as tall
8.
blister 03:50
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i watched the paint blister and crack colors fade how i wished they'd come back standing still, still out of place cursing myself for how nothing will change floating around, climb up the stairs reminders of how i don't feel at home anywhere what can i do? nothing to report, nothing to say stare into the sun i felt the time slipping away sink below the street, stomach the guilt breathing concrete i'd burned everything that we'd built i saw you looking down, standing above grinding your teeth your veins were boiling blood what will you do? we need to take our time to figure it out i took two steps back as far as my stride would allow i'll inhabit space, a master of none removed from myself quietly coming undone if this is how it ends, so let it rest you'll always be on the edge of this hole in my chest where are we now?

about

this album is about standing still when you know you shouldn't be. it's about treading ground you know you've treaded before, but can't remember when. it's about cyclical thought and the fear that comes along with it. it's about not being sure how to be alone. it's about feeling like a ghost.

credits

released July 19, 2018

zach - guitar, drums, vocals, horns, production, recording, mixing
michael - bass, vocals, synths

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collector New Jersey

ugly pop from south jersey

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